Emo

I realize that recently I quite emo.....
sometime because of something cannot be done then emo...
sometime might because of the same thing and keep emo-ing
sometime might even a very small thing......
I believe there are some issues that why I so emo...

the first issue and this is the most major issue I think....
that is because of working life...
I felt that everyday are repeating the same thing..
except office that is PV10...
the persons that I met everyday are the same...
the tasks that I did everyday also same
even the thing that I talk might be same also
except black and white that is no others color in my life

I felt very boring to this kind of life..
but what to do?
I know that I'm too free...
I should go some lessons or short courses to make my life more colorful
and I found my new interest
I hope this will be my hobby soon....maybe very soon..
but I need some motivation!!
I need a accompany!!
my roommate is promised me that he will go with me
but I know he won't
and I know my housemate are willing to go with me
but I not willing to go with him
hahahaha...
no matter how, I will try for it at least 1 month
just worry that after CNY my job will kill my time
=.='''

the second issue is friend and this also related to my working life
I found that my friends around me are become lesser and lesser
everyday keep filtering
at the end of the day, just the so call "true friend" are only keep in touch
some people may asking "how about your colleagues?"
for me, they are colleague, not friend
I still cannot believe them when they talking to me
who knows they are trying to take some benefits from me?
that's why I still protected myself by my own "protection shield"

I'm happy that I get some "true friends" after I end up my study life
but the problem is I HATE LONELY
I always need them to accompany me
I worry one day they will feel disturbance that I need their accompany again

"huh? u again ah? besides me, u dun hv others fren meh?
..oh come on, give me some break..."

this sentence always come out in my mind before I find them
I cannot be too dependence on them
I need to respect them
they also have their own life
at the end, my loneliness has not solved

I hope everything are because of my emo and not truth
I hope everything will be fine tomorrow morning when I wake up
I hope this kind of negative thinking will disappear start from now
I hope..........
and I hope......
just only can hope.....